Trapped October 27, 2007
Posted by larg in Thoughts.add a comment
My sister asked me to come see something outside our window today, curious I followed her along though not expecting much.
Look at the red circle
A bird whose legs are apparently trapped within branches of their sanctuary they called the tree. Knowing a post like this will probably erupt into a lot of lesson, morals and whatever shit we can learn from all this.
No.
I rather think about how helpless it is and how helpless it is within anyone’s means of helping it. That’s the part and parcel of the process called Life and Death. Even now the time is 7pm, the bird is still there, my sister told me it was trapped there since morning.
Sitting in my living room, we still peeked out the window periodically. Sometime in the afternoon, some of it’s own kind was sitting around the branches near it, as if comforting it. But knowing they can’t do anything, they can only sit and stare. The bird itself also struggled along the way, but as hours passed, it simply stayed put – silently, probably knowing how it’s gonna all end.
Which also eventually brings back to one thing, screw everything with survival instinct. But what can we do when we’re in a plight – helpless beyond helplessness?
Wait for doom?
Continue hoping?
Seriously I have no idea either.
Untitled October 23, 2007
Posted by larg in Life @ Republic, Thoughts.1 comment so far
I noticed my procrastination habit is coming again, I don’t wanna lose track of my memories so I better blog them before the land in my brain’s recycle bin.
RP
Seems like my facilitators have caught up on how too much of an independent worker I am. Almost all of them all commented I didn’t participate much in group discussions and even though I did do my part but it’s just not ‘right’. As my facilitator Joseph for web applications said yesterday…
“I know you’re doing your work, but you’re quiet and I can’t ignore that. I also don’t know how much are you learning but yet you know I can’t do that lah (forced questioning) and also if I were to walkaway and I’m being paid for this, I also won’t feel good,”
Not I can really help it but I fail in communicating with my class *cough*.
And as for my PP…
Accepted!! xD
It’s almost close to my PP presentation, I’m psyched yet nervous at the same time. And also I’m the first for that day to present (8.30am ftw). Well but I’m convinced by my friends it’s a good thing because they’ll be lenient and use mine as a standard to grade the rest after me.
Last but not least, finally Hey Gorgeous! featuring RP next week, I was dumbfounded to see a JJ Lin lookalike on TV!
Life
Sandra just dropped a bombshell on me, William is going for NS soon!! I dunno but every male I know going to NS sounds like a weird feeling. After all in you go NS a boy, out you come out a man. I really hope I can make it to have a last outing with him. NS in my opinion is also a free exercise “program” where you come out buffed (also depends on your body). I can’t really imagine a buffed William (nor a shaved one 
).
Regarding her post again, seems like Singapore is hit with a flurry of rain these days.
私は私が雨の天候をなぜ常に愛したが、か知らない
Rain is very interesting, just like snow it has two sides to it’s nature. It can bring life and similarly it can also take away life. As quoted from sandra
“And a rainbow appears there after. Like a bonus or a promise for better days, or so I believe..”
A rainbow after a rain, calm before a storm…so many sayings linking with this so called mundane weather condition. It’s also very calming to hear the pitter patter of the rain, but also there are very interesting variety of sounds along with the weather. I used to be afraid of lightning, but then I have grown to embrace it.
Lastly, rain is a very nice weather to sleep in~
Wow that was so random.
Thank you October 16, 2007
Posted by larg in Social Degradation.6 comments
I have to give a big fat thanks to a lot of people who commented, even though some signed off with mysterious aliases I probably have a good deal to know who you roughly are. After all my circle of friends is very small and the number of people who view this blog is probably lesser than the number of friends I can even make in my current class.
The first step is always hard I know but this social issue and this low self-confidence thing is really hindering me. I sometimes wonder how am I gonna cope with this future. Yesterday Irene talked to me and she surprised me with something.
Yes even as of now I’m very surprised and I have almost given up on the thought no one in class would ever want to establish communication with me. I am in the same class with at least 4 of her last semester friends and only 2 I have ever spoken to. One being an accidental conversation (lol) and the other was about work. Either way people I talk to in class either ever lasted more than a few minutes or it was about work and that’s it.
Real boring isn’t it? But anyway I think there’s too much sadness and self pity in this blog which wasn’t meant to be the highlight of it in the first place. But unfortunately nothing exciting ever happens in my life.
So sue me. 
Another episode… October 12, 2007
Posted by larg in Life @ Republic, Social Degradation.10 comments
This is just another one of those “self-pity” entries, I rather people ignore this post because it’s too sad and it’s too annoying. I have totally given up trying to communicate with w64a. In my entire 4 weeks so far, I only have spoken to only 3 people and yet we’re still far from the term ‘friends‘.
I don’t excel in looks, abilities and personality, which is probably a failed cause for trying to mingle in this class. Everyone has cliques already and have know each other quite well now, I’m just the impossible to approach loner whom nobody has bothered to talk to so far; well majority at least.
I can’t find my voice when I want to speak, socially I fail. Because of this handicap, I swore never to find a job dealing with PR situations, I also found about my weakness via my first job. So for now before the hurt gets deeper I decided to put a stop right now. I don’t know anyone, neither does anyone know me. Let it stay that way until Year 3 when we leave each other for good.
I can’t wait for this entire term to get over with, stat.
Serious thoughts October 6, 2007
Posted by larg in Java for the misfits, Life @ Republic, Rant season, Reviews, Social Degradation.3 comments
Every month, week, day and even year, I complain about the same thing repeatedly. Guess it’s sort of a habit and a ritual. I believe this is the first time I gathered all categories into one entry.
w64a
Seriously speaking, w64a is an awesome class, everyone, facilitators and classmates included are great. The only problem lies with me. I have a sort of communication barrier with everyone. I have very negative thoughts and also kinda ’scared’ to talk to them. Because of my current social activity level, I basically think my class and grades have been affected on a significant scale. Not that I don’t want to do anything about it, but I just don’t want to.
In fact, while others can already label each other as friends, I only can merely refer everyone as ordinary classmates. Really a major ass my social life has always been since young…
Hey! Gorgeous
Today they came to my school today looking for what their show title goes by – hot hunks and cute/beautiful babes. But seriously, the real problem with this show is – the real deal goes into hiding, I mean seriously most of the people are either sabo-ed by their so-called friends, or just pretty much average looking. Most people are too shy about their assets and rarely would you see a hunk or a babe go “yeah, I am a babe/hunk”.
Singaporeans…always lacking that high confidence in one’s sexiness. Especially in this season, only a couple are notable to be real hunks and babes. But what can you do about it? Just make do with weeds when you can’t find premium plants.
Blogging
I noticed a drastic drop in standard of my blogging, sometimes I think it’s so bad, I still wonder why I blog. I blog mainly to have a release on my inner thoughts and feelings. Also I wouldn’t want to confine it to some paperback media given the technology we have these days. It’s also least likely to last till I’m old.
I don’t really care much about who views me, I’m just satisfied that the viewers and taggers are my real close friends. Of course one can use a blog to it’s full potential to gain publicity but that was not my purpose. Nowadays I noticed even as I can make authentic entries in my head, they somehow get summarized, boring and out of point when put here. Even now…
Xiaxue
I took a good read at her blog today, she’s one of Singapore’s most controversial blogger well because she usually blog abut things that are too controversial for Singapore’s norms. But however, like my friend stats, she does bring up very good points. It also makes me wonder if she excelled in English and at argumentative essays back in school. If her whole image fails one day she may consider taking up a lawyer’s job, I bet she’ll be excellent at it.
Yes, Xiaxue may be fake, a bit of a slut, fat and whatsoever nicknames girls may love to give one another. Personally I don’t really care much about personal attacks on her and whether to find out if they are really true. I just bother more about the things she writes about. Very insignificant yet very true, I recommend people to read the entry about “Cab Snatchers” to get what I mean. But otherwise, I think she’s a very straightforward person with too-strong a sense of justice, and also dares to reveal bits and details about herself regardless the situation.
Something I would like to be but always lacked the courage to be. Suddenly I also feel more brave to live and let go of certain things, and also to come clean with certain issues.
I can say proudly like one of the entries she written – I’ve been (or nearly, but it’s almost all the same) molested before.
I won’t go too much in details on that but yeah, we’re all wimpy people when it comes to issues like this. That is what makes Singaporeans too much of an easy target, don’t even need to be specifically molestation (either gender). My resolve to change is weak for now, so even as much as I hope to obtain those traits, I still cannot achieve it.
Socially Blah September 25, 2007
Posted by larg in Social Degradation.5 comments
Already a week in my new class yet I have not known anyone yet, I can’t rely on Joanne and Fairuz forever, they need to expand their social lives too. It’s like bleh for me, everyone in this class already are comfortable with each other and are yakking away already but too me the “comfort” feeling barely goes away. I also haven’t got to know a single of Irene’s last semester classmates yet.
Yes it’s obvious I fail socially lol.
And also I have found out a certain faction mate and friend of mine in GE have found out about this blog. He was spouting information only elusive to this blog alone, and he claims to know a friend of mine who introduced the term ‘roy-bun‘ to him! 
Omg, so who is this mystery caper? Obviously they’re not that stupid to reveal themselves hence they asked my faction mate, Sidney to keep a secret of their identity. I only have a couple of clues…
- It’s a girl.
- She’s studying in a Poly.
- Seriously, roy-bun is a term exclusive to a few friends in my tiny social life.
So in short, you’re not hard to crack down but I’ll be lazy and all… 
Meh, I feel so lonely and jealous when I see my classmates engaged in cozy conversation I can never hope to join…
Rough start September 23, 2007
Posted by larg in Java for the misfits, Life @ Republic, Rant season.3 comments
My school semester has resumed already and I have to say so far, things already went roller-coaster downhill. I still don’t know the class, I already getting ‘D’ and ‘C’ grades, I suck in Java (this time it’s advanced Java omfgwtfbbq), I get flu every morning resulting me having to eat drowsy flu pills (thus resulting in a slumber during class), I have to chiong my PP…
Enough is enough, I hate myself. I have a horrible social factor that reeks of failure and screams of the lack of self-confidence. That alone is enough to hinder me upon anything (or everything) I do. Like god seriously, get off my back!!
I shall not continue this entry further, it’s just calling for more reminiscing of the horrible life I go through everyday at school.
It sucks to be me.
Just another day September 14, 2007
Posted by larg in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
I woke up this morning (or maybe afternoon, or was it yesterday in the middle of the night? O_O) to find this staring at me…
Aw just the perfect pick-me-up after an ebil stressed week, thanks! 
A Horoscope Email I received recently, so I decided to see how accurate it was -
TAURUS – The Enduring One
Endure? Well I can endure most things, so this is partially true.
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not.
Charming but aggressive? I don’t think I ever flirted in my entire life. 
I think I’m boring but I am not?
Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance.
I can be a hard worker (if I want), warm hearted? More like too soft ha! As for the last part I’m not too sure what are they referring to.
Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their
beauty.
Er…but I do admit I rarely like taking the shortcut ( even if it means less suffering). Beauty? wth?
Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind.
Patient, yes, reliable, unsure, great friends…er ask my friends
Loving and kind? Gah what is this? Some kind of trick question?!
Loves hard – passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums.
YES, YES and YES.
Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
Not really, I don’t indulge myself often but when I do, I go all out.
Er…ask my friends?
Total Accuracy - 4/6
Ubin Days September 14, 2007
Posted by larg in Uncategorized.10 comments
So I decided I wasn’t going out too often, so today…I went to Pulau Ubin with Wei Bao and Meiyin. Apparently no one else could come because they had work or were busy with other stuff. Just as well I went out too because I needed some fresh air and GE would be scheduled for maintenance as usual.
Ubin changed a lot ever since I last went there, even the Changi Ferry Terminal also had changes. I may not have lived there but I have vivid memories of the old Ubin like anyone who lived past the 90s’ period.
No chickens.
Lesser people living there.
Improvements to Ubin.
Let’s face it, I even had trouble finding my way around a while. I suggested to the girls we went to the Quarry Lake and Chek Jawa. I’ll add pictures once I asked WeiBao for them but meanwhile, enjoy boring old descriptions. We rode our way around via bicycles. Basically I led them around where my Geography teacher did during a secondary 2 outing.
I conkered my fear of heights by a little by climbing the 120 steps tower aka viewing platform @ Chek Jawa which was a freaking 9 storeys high! Though I have to admit I came down faster than I could climb up. The rest of the day was cam whoring and cycling around up-and-down slopes reaching our destinations. We didn’t have much run-ins with wildlife though sadly.
My brain has fizzled out, I can’t even elaborate much. And another zoo outing with another bunch of friends is scheduled this Saturday.
If it’s possible, I can actually die of fatigue.
Pathetic September 9, 2007
Posted by larg in Rant season.2 comments
I find myself feeling stressed out, irritated, tired, bothered and too much of an inconsiderate brat lately. The only way I can keep relating myself with is towards songs to vent out my internal turmoil (if I have to use this word, it’s serious). Over gaming can really sort of make you an airhead. I’m like a very blur person nowadays with a memory worst than my grandmother, heck I even forget most of the time what I wanted to write in this blog.
Another issue I have with myself is finding my own talents. I have no right to be angry about when other people become successful in life and have multiple or a single talent they excelled at. I can’t help but to feel immensely jealous and then start to compare with myself constantly. I can’t even advise myself on this, I’m a pretty messed up person. This blog alone tells everything about my life…
…well if I even had one.
Congrats to Sandra for passing her driving test, I think it’ll be a while before I even took the test. I have no time and I’m not sure if I’m ready to drive. There will be increase in casualties if they allow a sleep deprived person on the road…
Sometimes I wish I can really “throw it all away, forget yesterday, we’ll make the great escape…” like the song by Boys Like Girls go. Unfortunately, reality bites and pulls you down with responsibilities.
Boys Like Girls – The Great Escape
